First+Period-+Question+3

Group Members: Jessica Malette, Emily Morris, Emma O'Hallaran, Whitney Sharp =**Question #3**= ===**How much does a person’s religion, or lack of religion, and social class affect with whom they become friends?**===

Whitney: I think it absolutely depends on the time period, society and most of all, person. Today, when it comes to religion (or lack of) I dont think that really has a major effect on who people become friends with. In the old days I feel like people were more separated into religious factions than they are today. Religion is not such a socially defining topic in our society today but it definitely is in other countries, especially in the Middle East. People who have no religion don't necessarily exclusively associate with other people that lack it but they probably aren't hanging out around churches and synagogues waiting for their best friend either. I know personally, I have friends that are extremely religious and I have friends that are atheist but we all get along well. Social class is a little more complicated but it goes along with the same idea of time period, society and particular person. Back in the day you would Never see two people of different classes associating socially with each other. It just wasn't heard of. I think today's society is a lot more welcoming and accepting of all people with different backgrounds. But not always. I think about back to elementary school when everybody was friends with everybody no matter what, but as we've gotten older we definitely separate into our groups of people that we feel most comfortable with. But this is where it really depends on the person. Through playing sports I've made friends with people are definitely in a "higher" class than me and also friends that are considered "lower". As long as you have something in common, I don't think a person's religion, lack of religion or social class really affects with whom they become friends.

Whitney (3rd post): I think overall I still agree with my views from before reading //Catcher in the Rye// but in a new light. I guess because I'd never really been in Holden's situation with religion I didn't see how it could really affect with whom you become friends with. I don't really get Holden's religious views though, because he says he's atheist, and he really connects with the (catholic) nuns, but he can't stand it when catholics talk about religion... He is a complicated person and I think he chooses to make some situations more complicated on himself than others. Like when Louis Shaney mentioned the catholic church Holden freaks out and assumes he's trying to convert him. He didn't have to think this way, he could've continued to enjoy a perfectly nice conversation, but he decided to blame religion for ruining it when really, it was all him. The other example from the book was Holden's experience with his roommate, Slagle. I can see how maybe this turned into somewhat of a problem, but only because the two of them made it into one. Holden tried to make Slagle feel less uncomfortable but in the end they both were the problem and had to stop being roommates because they couldn't handle each others socioeconomic differences. This goes back to my original point of it all depending on the person, if you don't make stuff like religion or social class into a big deal it won't be.

Josh (Commenting on Whitney's reply) - I definitely agree with Whitney about how society, time period, and personality, are what it depends on. I would like to point out that religion, or lack thereof, does play a large part in creating who we are as it teaches us morals and philosophy. Not to say that those who grow up without religion are without morals, but to point out that we are generally friends with those who have similar morals and philosophies, so religion plays an indirect role there in deciding our friendships. I think that the fact that religion is no longer such a deciding factor shows a growth in secularism and a greater tolerance for change and alien concepts. I definitely also agree with Whitney on how social class affects friendships. I think that while years ago, it may have been a deciding factor, it is not anything more than just another detail to many people these days. I think that there are some definite prejudices from both the lower and higher classes making it harder for those two sets of people to be friends, but that overall, it has at least become a lot less of a deciding factor in this day and age. I believe that most people generally want to stay close to their social class because they may feel uncomfortable outside of it, but that, social class is just another factor to take in today.

Reade (Commenting on Whitney's post)- I agree with Whitney and everything she said. In today's society, I don't think religion plays a huge role in determining your friends. You might gain some more friends because of similar religions, but I think that the majority of people would not turn down being friends with someone just because of their religion. I don't even know the religious status of a lot of my friends, and that has never really been a big deal to me in terms of whether or not I would be friends with the person. As Whitney said though, social class is a little bit different. I think that this plays a much larger role in determining friends. I don't think you would ever see anyone intentionally not be friends with another person because of their social class, but I think that people just tend to hang out with people of similar backgrounds. We gravitate towards people that have similar interests as us, and often similar interests coincide with similar backgrounds. It is just more likely that people of a similar class are going to meet and hit it off, then people of different classes meeting and getting along so well. Again, as Whitney said, a lot of this depends on the person. Every person is different, and so it is hard to say a blank statement for something like this.

Emma: In today's society I don't think a person's religion, or lack of, plays a HUGE role in who they become friends with, but it does play a small role. If you spend a majority of your time at church (or any other holy place) around the same religious people, you will tend to drift towards them and become friends with them. This happens in all situations where someone is around the same people though. If you spend a lot of time around the same people, you get to know them better and will most likely end up being friends. Lack of religion plays the same role. If you aren't religious you probably won't be hanging around churches, which will result in you not being around as many religious people. This doesn't mean that athiests cannot and are not friends with extremely religious people, it just means it sometimes is more uncommon. Social class seems to have a larger effect on who you become friends with. If you grow up in a nice, higher class neighborhood, you are going to grow up with kids in the same social class as you. Being isolated in a subdivison keeps you from interacting with other people from different social classes. This doesn't mean people never become friends with other social classes, it just makes it more difficult. Overall religion, lack of religion, and different social classes do have an impact on who you become friends with, but they don't restrict you to be friends with the people in the same boat as you.

Emma as Holden: I think religion does play a huge role in who people become friends with and how they end up in society. I mean look at me, I am sort of an atheist and all, and so if my family. I am really only close to old Phoebe. If she was Catholic or something, I might not be as close to her as I am now. When I was at all the dumb schools my parents sent me to, I met a lot of people from different religions. I remember this one time when I was at Whooton School. I was sitting outside the infirmary waiting for a physical and I was sitting next to this kid, Louis Shaney. We struck up a pretty good conversation about tennis, but it went down hill when he asked me, "Did you happen to notice where the Catholic church is in town, by any chance?". That just pissed me off. "He was enjoying the conversation about tennis and all, but you could tell he would've enjoyed it more if I was a Catholic and all" (pg112-113). Prime example of how religion plays a huge role in who you become friends with in all these damn phony schools. Maybe if I had said I knew where the Catholic church was we would have been best buds, but I'm not a phony like that. Those religious freaks also always think that they are all high class and stuff. I just stay out of it completely. Phony people and their phony religious based friends just bother me.

Megan (responding to Emma): I agree with you that religion does not always play a huge role in who they become friends with. I think this all depends on the person. Many people become friends at school and have friends of all different social and religious backgrounds. However, in my life I have found that my religion has extremely affected who I have become friends with. I met three of my best friends at my church and none of them are even in the same grade as I am; one doesn't even go to the same school as me. My mom's best friends are also all from our church. However, I do have friends outside of my religion. I think that the more you have in common with a person, it is usually easier to become friends with that person. I agree that people of other religions can be friends, it is just more uncommon. Although today religion and social class does not matter as much as in the past, it still defines the person and gives opportunities for alike people to be together.

Taylor Rogalski (responding to Emma): Well, I think you certainly had a good point. Who we bond with has to do with communal interests as well as beliefs. However, when I went to church, for example, I did not bond with some of the people there despite having a similar interest. Being of the same religion or something of the sort is more of an icebreaker and basis for conversation than a centerpoint for a relationship between two people. Besides, Christianity isn't the only religion in question here. You could not go anywhere near a church and still encounter Zen Buddhists who become your friends. Being an atheist now I am still friends with extremely religious people. I think that once you break down the barrier of accepting other people's opinions, these kinds of things don't matter nearly as much when it comes to making friends and meeting people. I soundly agree with your concluding statement; beliefs and social classes may give you a basis for friendship, but they are not the sole foundation, nor a restricting factor.

Emily Morris: Concerning religion. I am a very religious person. I attend church every Sunday and I think about religion very often. However my friends are not, for the most part religious, and when they are they are most likely another sect of Christianity or Judaism that I don’t identify with. I know that in other societies and even places in the United States away from Chapel Hill people develop their one social circle by what religion the other people practice so in this way I think it is relative to location. I understand having a social circle composed of people of the same religion. I, myself, have friends from church whom, without youth group or Sunday school I would most likely never have met or became close to. However this does not mean that they are my only friends. Religion certainly does effect who you are friends with but I don’t think by any means is it the only factor. Concerning social class. People tend to settle within their social class. Neighborhoods around and in Chapel Hill are proof of this. Neighbors tend to be friends. Neighborhoods go to the same school and in school you stick with the people you know. The people you know are your neighbors. People of the same social classes go to the same places because they can afford to do the same things. I am not saying a person couldn’t have a friend in a lower or higher social class but I am suggesting that it is more probable to have friends of the same social and economic class.

Kendyl Cole (Commenting on Emily's): I agree with what Emily says about how location is a determining factor in how religion and social class affect someones choice in friends. It's hard for me to imagine growing up somewhere that hasn't been as liberal and welcoming as Chapel Hill is, but there are many people who haven't been quite as blessed. I feel that depending on where you live, and what sort of background you are raised in, social class and religion can definitely affect who you choose to socialize with. If you're raised in a family of rich, pretentious, elitist people, you're more likely to associate with people of the same social class and family background. A lot of people, to this day, still only associate with those of similar religions and beliefs. Though it seems completely ridiculous and like something out of an 18th century novel, these trends still exist today. I'm not a religious person, but I've grown up with friends who are christian, jewish, muslim, buddhist, and even some quakers. I choose to spend my time surrounded by these people not because of what sort of higher being they believe in, but because they are good people. My family consists of Roman Catholics, Atheists, Jews, and Mormons, yet we all accept each other. It's easy to say that social class doesn't affect who your friends are, but how can you tell if the only people you've grown up with are in the same social class as you are. I think that these factors are still influential in people's friend choices, but are slowly becoming less of an issue as society becomes more diverse.

Jessica: I feel that in the past, religion and social class use to have a bigger affect on who they became friends with, but I do still believe it still factors in somewhat. If you look at how society and the United States has developed in the last 400 years; it has changed tremendously. From back in __The Crucible__ days where everyone had the same religion and you would be outcasted if you did not, to now where there are so many different religions and it does not play that big of a part in society. I personally am a pretty religious person and all of my closest friends do happen to be the same religion as me. I think this may be because of, not necessarily, of religion but of the same values. I can't lie to you and say it wouldn't be hard to have a close friend who did not believe in God just because religion plays such a big role in my life. A lot of times, where one attends church can have an affect on who people chose to be friends with. There are prodominently one race churches all of the US. With social class, I believe it can affect who one becomes friends with a lot of the time, but it is something that is hard to avoid. If someone lives in a neighborhood with many other teens, there is a huge chance that they will be friends. This is something that just happens and is kind of unavoidable in a lot of ways. Places like school and doing activity's such as sports are good ways for one to branch out of the box and get to know someone you normally wouldn't see on a regular basis. I focused my answer primarily on the US, but there are some countries in the world where still only one religion is accepted. We are fortunate to live in a country where it is diverse and people can worship and believe what they chose.

Kent (responding to Emily/Whitney/Josh)- I completely agree with Emily, religion is not the only factor that goes into choosing what social group you are in. People want to usually be around other that share similar beliefs, so that they feel like they have something in common. However, I do not think that just because someone does not believe in a god, or is not a certain religion does not mean they could not be in a group filled with religious affiliates. People tend to do this not only with religion but other aspects of society. They feel that because they have some sort of connection, they can accomplish more, and can even protect one another if need be. However, I somewhat disagree with the statement that Whitney and Josh made about the time period. I think that times will change, and that things will never be the same but the basics will always stay. I mean to say that people are always going to have a tendency to group into these social guilds depending on what beliefs they have in respect to religion.

Whitney (as Holden): First of all, I don't have many friends because most everyone around me is a phony. So I'm not going to waste my time being friends with people who are. But I don't really give a damn one way or another. I'm sort of an atheist if you want to know the truth. All the school's I've been at have had some sort of religious affiliation and it has been the phoniest thing I've ever seen. All these ministers who give their sermans in these Holy Joe voices, the chapel filled with all these goddamn phony guys... What's the point? The catholics especially, they always are trying to know if you're catholic or not. And if you're not, the whole conversation just dies. So yeah, I think religion plays a role in who you become friends with, even though personally, it doesn't matter to me one way or another. When it comes to social class though, that's a little more complicated. I personally, dont' have a problem with people from a different class than mine, but I feel like everyone else does. At my old school I roomed with a guy for a couple months and we got along fine except for one small detail: our suitcases. He had this cheaper looking luggage set and it was always so goddamn awkward whenever I had mine too. Mine were a kind of expensive set and he would get so uncomfortable whenever they were out. We ended up changing our roommates because of it. So as much as I'd like to say religion and social class don't affect who people become friends with, they do goddammit.

Haley (responding to Jessica)- I agree with Jessica when she discusses the fact that religion plays a role in social groups, not necessarily intentionally anymore, but due to the fact that those who share similar interests and values generally find it easier to relate to each other on other levels as well. While it is not the main basis of friendships or social acceptances anymore, religion often does bring with it other interests and common values. As Jessica mentioned, history notes that if an individual did not accept the religion that the rest of society did, they would immediately become a social outcast. They would become excluded from all interactions with other people. Now, society welcomes all different kinds of beliefs with open arms, and social groups have become more diverse than they once were. Different beliefs are not looked down upon as much, yet those sharing similar beliefs tend to socially connect. Individuals who have same beliefs understand each other better, and therefore typically get along better together. While religion is not a significant issue in who interacts with whom, it does play a role in those who spend time together and meet due to similar interests and beliefs that brought them to the same point.

Abby (responding to Jessica)- I mostly agree with Jessica that religion plays a large role in who we become friends with. Although I wouldn't say that it would be hard for me to become friends with a person of a different religion than me, I definitly think that it influences who we become friends with. Like through sports, I believe that when people have similar interests, they are more compatible to become friends. My best friends are the sons and daughters of my mom's best friends from church. We all grew up together and have remained friends ever since because we have had a similar background and share many things in common. At the same time, If I had not grown up in the same church and had not met these friends, I may be friends with more people of different religions, but I think that since religion was such a huge part of my childhood, it has greatly influenced who I have become friends with. I think this applies to social classes as well. We first become friends with people like us. For example, people who live in our neigborhoods often are of the same social class, and so when we become friends as kids, social class plays a big role in the friendship.

Joyce Carter responding to Jessica - I agree with Jessica that we are lucky to live in a country that is diverse and people can freely believe in what they want to belive in. Now, compared to the early 19th century and later, people are speaking their minds about religion and don't give a monkey's behind if people don't agree with what they say. I do try to understand people when they say things like they don't believe in gods, but since I am a Christian, I will never agree with that statement. Although religion is not a the main topic of conversation between my friends and I, I recently noticed that the like opinions that we share are based on the principles of our religion. I have had great laughs and deep disscusions with friends of mine who aren't Christians, but I can honestly say it will be hard to be best friends with them. Those people who don't practice a specific religion may also have trouble becoming friends with people who do just becasue of the fact that they don't have a religion. Also, the neighborhood a person grows up in can affect their choice of religion; by association they develope the beliefs of the common religion in that area. By affiliating themselves with a neighbor who practices a certain religion, they adapt their lives to this religion as well. Kind of makes me think about those adults who join the Booster Clubs at their kids school, usually not for the benefits of their kids, but because the adults around where they just moved to are members of the group, and they had made friends with them.

Jessica as Holden: Who the hell really knows to be honest? I don't really have a religion; only sometimes. I mean I like Jesus, but I don't care for most of the other stuff in the Bible. Through out my life I've been thrust into schools a Christian background with a chapel and all and the school had really all the same type of people: phony guys. Not all were but most. Even the ministers at every school I've gone have these Holy Joe voices when give their sermons and it sounds so phony. I guess now that I've thought about religion does affect certain things. Like take the catholics for instance. Catholics are always trying to find out if you're a catholic. They really aren't prejudiced at all, they just want to know. My opinion is why does it really matter? I don't really care if you worship God or if you worship ducks in central park. But again, that's just my opinion. Now when it comes to social class I don't really know what I feel. I would like to say that it really doesn't matter, but it seems to. There was once this guy I use to room with and an old boarding school and you could tell that he didn't have that much money. Not that he was poor but just that my family was better off then him. Anyway, my suitcases are pretty nice with expensive leather and all while his were on the cheaper side. This bugged the hell out of me! I can't tell you why but it just did. I don't really like people who have inexpensive luggage; it always makes me uncomfortable. So to answer the question I'd like to say things religion and social class don't affect who you become friends with, but I guess it does and it can't be avoided.

Emily as Holden - I am damn certain that religion and social class effect who you are friends with. Like that guy who always was asking me about my faith and what not. I couldn’t stand it. I mean he was a great guy and all but I could never get passed him asking me about the bible and all that and what religion I was affiliated with. “Not that he was prejudice or anything, he just wanted to know. Jesus I can talk about but that other crap gives me a headache. I swear it really does. It’s the suitcase conversation all over again. He was a swell guy, that Slagle, but we just couldn’t get passed our suitcase problem. I had a better suitcase than he did. I couldn’t get passed that even though he was a great guy. He really was. We got along real well as roommates but he put my suitcase back on the rack just because his were worse than mine. He was a really funny guy.