Third+Period-+Question+4

Group Members: Yuka Harada, Andie Aldana, Maddie Gilmore, Melina Smith. =**Question #4**=

**Do adults understand teenagers? Explain.**
Edward Lytle It is true that at one point or another, every adult was once a teenager. However each teenager has a unique experince during their teen and adolescnet years and with society changing and becomming more and more modern, it creates a "grey area" between the highschool experinces that a parent may have had and there son/daughter is currently experincing. With that being said, I still strongly believe that parents know what is best for their children, yes times have changed but not drastically enough as to render our parents' judgement useless. As Maddie said, a major differnece between our youth and our parents' is the technological leaps we have made since their adolescence. That being said I still thing the same typical high school pressures exist( grades, drugs, sports, opposite sex, etc.). These are the things our parents can infact relate too, however they have a harder time relating to the new technology i.e: facebook, cellphones etc. Touching the subject of my own parents as an example, I think my parents understand me and what we as teens undergo daily and thats great because it makes life so much easier.

Andriy Rusyn (response to Edward Lytle) I agree with you to a certain extent, Edward, but I have to disagree on at least some level. Although I agree that some pressures are the same, it is important to keep in mind that not all teenagers grew up in a culture similar to that of their parents. My father, for example, has a very different understanding of how grades work, what is expected of me, etc. Although I am sure some things stay the same, cultural shifts can really make a huge difference. One part of your response I agree with is that technology has an impact. Part of what I mean by cultural shift is that, as time moves forward, and along with it technology develops exponentially, it becomes harder and harder for parents to relate to their children. Perhaps in the next several decades, technology will replace many of the “constants” that you refer to. Ask a parent only 50 years ago, and they are likely to add that spending quality time with your friends means playing sports or enjoying the great outdoors, not spending hours in front of a monitor interacting virtually.

Maddie Gilmore- As a teenager, it is sort of difficult to assume what adults do or do not understand. What I //think//, however, is that yes, adults do have some sort of understanding of teenagers. I say this for one main reason: every single adult was once a teenager. It's a fact. Whether or not they were the stereotypical teenager or shared the same experiences is up for questioning. But it certain that they were once adolescents. As such, they went through the same processes and development that every teenager faces in his or her lifetime. I think that because adults experienced adolescence, they can comprehend what is happening with teenagers in the present. I know that this is a broad generalization. It is true that many adults do not understand teenagers. But I think that its not the teenagers themselves that they don't understand, it's the fact that being a teenager has changed since //they// were teenagers. They don't know how to deal with the fact nowadays, teenagers live very different lives than they did before. The phases and processes of growth, the periods of distance, etc., are all the same. It's the texting, the Facebook, and the opportunities that they never had that adults cannot relate to. To tell the truth, I may be a little biased on this topic as both of my parents are psychiatrists, and I feel that they understand me and my siblings pretty well. I think that it goes to show, however, that if they try, adults //can// understand teenagers because in reality, they are just the same as they always have been.

Bobby M: I'm going to disagree and agree with you Maddie. It is very true that all adults were once teens, but that doesn't really mean that they understand. When discussing this keep 3 things in mind. One, is that not all adults are the same age. For example, my 23 years old digital media teacher probably relates more to me and understands me more than my grandpa, purely because of age. Two, is that not all adults were the way you were. For example, my 23 year old digital media teacher might not have been the same way I am, but my grandpa could have, so my grandpa would understand me more than my teacher. The third thing is your relation to that person. For example, my 23 year old teacher might not understand me as much as my grandpa because he hasn't spent as much time around me. What this all means is that some adults understand adolescents, and most do on some level, but some more than others.

Andie Aldana I agree with you in that yes, adults were teenagers once and that they have a basic level of understanding of how teens function. However, I feel like as time passes, they forget what it was like to go through all the social pressures we’re going through now. It’s the same basic stuff (mean girls, drama over boys, grades, sports, etc.) they went through, just evolved a little. They’ve already been through everything we’re going through now, but I don’t think they remember how difficult it was to deal with all of it. For example, if we go to FPG or some other elementary school and some little girl asks us about a little boy crush, we’re going to think “hey, I’ve gone through this before” but I know that I wouldn’t remember exactly what it was like to experience it. And that’s the same as adults today. They’ve gone through it, but they don’t remember what it was like. But, I feel like younger parents understand their teens better than older parents do because it was more recent. (obvious…) and adults that have no children probably don’t understand teens as much because it wouldn’t even cross their mind to put on a teens’ shoes relive their high-school years. I don’t really know how to sum up my points… because they aren’t all that clear. But basically, adults think they understand teens because they’ve gone through almost all the same stuff, but they don’t remember what it was like to //actually// experience it.

Melina Smith Of course, most adults are familiar with the unruly, compulsive character that stereotypes adolescence. They know that teenagers act on whims that are often ill thought out. Although not all teenagers adhere to the stereotype, everyone has his or her moments, so the generalization is not so mistaken. More or less, most adults understand that teenagers do the things they do, but it is safe to say that most do not understand why teenagers do the things they do. At times, it is possible that even teenagers do not understand why they do the things they do. Some feel no need to legitimize their actions—they feel that the fact that they are teenagers is reason (or excuse) enough to act upon whatever inspires them at the time. I myself do not understand in retrospect what prompted me to do stupid things sometimes. Much of the mindset surrounding adolescence can be attributed to hormones. Adults are aware that teenagers’ rapidly changing moods are the result of raging hormones. However, it is nearly impossible to recreate the mood swings and intense emotions—impossible for adults to feel what teenagers feel. Because emotions play such a large part in determining adolescent choices and actions, it can then be said that adults really cannot get inside a teenage mind to wholly understand the impulses of teenage actions.

Yuka Harada: I agree with everyone here that says that because adults have gone through teenage years, they do understand current teenagers to some degree. I think for most of the time, adults do understand teens. In the cases that they don't, I think there are couple of reasons. But the main cause is that most adults don't have interactions with them. Suppose a teenage daughter that lacks communication with their parents. She doesn't confess them how she feels about school, friends, and the different kinds of pressures and etc. In that case, of course her parents wouldn't comprehend her feelings. But this is not just a matter between parent and a child. Andie said that adults without children probably wouldn't understand teens as much, but I have to disagree. For example, consider some teachers at Carrboro. We have many teachers that do not have kids. However, since they always have interactions with teenagers, they sometimes have a better understanding of the students than their parents do. Time periods change, and so do different aspects of culture that define teenagers. Teenagers may feel that older adults don't understand them, but I think it's because they do not have adults that they can confide their true feelings to. Also, adolescents are usually marked as rebellious. Perhaps since teenagers revolt against their elders, they feel that adults don't understand them.

Rachel Horton- (comment) In agreement with Ed, I believe that adults, although do come from a different time period than the current teenagers, for the most part understand teenagers. As adults, they have been through the emotions, and growing process that teenagers are going through. Adults are mostly going to understand the feelings and thoughts of teenagers, because they understand the changes chemically teens are going through. One issue though, is that adults are going to have most likely have grown up in a different society than their current teens. And now one major difference is the technology advances. Teenagers today are growing up with these new technologies that adults now were not able to access at all, or at the ease that many teens have today. This creates a gap between the current adult and teen today. Also the acceptance of homosexuality, bisexuality, etc. are more socially accepted today, and as teens we understand this, where many adults grew up in an era where this was not accepted.

__Natalie Barroso__ (in response to Melina's comment) I agree with Melina's statement on how adults cannot fully understand the actions and reasons behind the actions of teenagers. Like Melina said, teenagers many times do not even know why they do the things they do, and therefore it would be almost impossible for somebody else to try to figure it out. However, I think this can be applied to almost anybody, adult or teenager. Teenagers are more susceptible to these kinds of actions, though, because of the changing hormones and the constant development of the brain, as Melina said. I think that adults can somewhat relate to teenagers' situations by the mere fact that they were once teenagers and probably faced many of the same challenges. On the other hand, they can never fully experience those challenges and situations again because they no longer have "raging hormones." Even though parents may be able to relate to their kids, they cannot fully understand what's going on through their minds. Teenagers still like to use this as an excuse, though, as Melina already stated. There are cases in which adults can relate to their kids, but refuse to show that, giving the teenager the feeling that they just don't understand them at all. This creates a major drift in the parent-teenager relationship. All in all, it's up to the teenager to figure out the reasons behind their actions or mistakes in order to learn a lesson. The teenager must understand his or herself before others can understand him or her. Adults can try their best to understand teenagers if they just give them a chance, resulting in the highest level of understanding possible.

__Lucía Moreno Lama__(in response to Andie's comment) Teenagers of every generation tend to reberl against the ideals of adults. At the same time, adults tend to forget that they were once teenagers and that as well the were rebelling against the ideals of their elders. Therefore, the total understanding between the two is imposible, infact, if it was perfect it would be even worriying, i because it would mean that one of the two is playing a wrong role. Either the adult acting eternally young with absolute abdication of responsibility, which would be pretty pathetic; or, the adolescent being kind of premature old, which would be quite sad. Assumed this, the moments in which both can get to connect are precious. When the adults in the family are flexible, there is room for comunication and dialogue, harmony and coexistence. Adults can contend and teach the teenagers and simultaneously allow adolescents to build their individualism.

**Molly S.** - I agree with all of the comments here. In response to Melina’s, I agree with her idea that adults cannot feel the emotions that we are feeling so they cannot truly understand us. I think that’s true for everyone. Sometimes I don’t even understand things that some of my friends do even when we are both teenagers and are more or less dealing with the same problems. I think that sometimes adults feel like they can understand teenagers because they used to be that age but in reality, the truth is that adults are not as hip and rad as we are and they don’t really get it. No offense. Times have changed and things are different than they used to be. Although, I definitely believe that adults can offer really valuable advice to teenagers and it should be taken to heart. While they may not understand modern teenagers, most adults know what’s good for us anyway and don’t really need to understand teens fully.

John Benton I agree with Andie, to an extent. I feel that many adults forget about the pressures that teenagers face, due to the fact that they tend to combine their teenage experiences with their adult experiences. For a greater explanation, take the way that many upper-classmen treat freshmen. When we think back, most of us only think that "It was so easy!" because we compare it to our Junior and Senior years. However, we fail to recognize the pressures that freshmen face in terms of joining a new school, adjusting from middle school level classes, being the smallest ones, etc. Also, I think that all people are different, and can associate with different lifestyles. If an adult was a star football player (just an example) in high school, it is unlikely that they will be able to understand the troubles that an unathletic person faces. A person who had few friends in high school may find it harder to understand the social pressures that go along with social groups.
 * David Wheaton** (Comment) As Maddie and several other people pointed out, adults do have the capability to understand teenagers. However, I think that they sometimes don’t if they don’t take the time to put themselves in adolescent shoes. It is easy for adults to fall into the trap of thinking only about what is best for their children, and failing to understand the motivations that drive teenagers. When this happens, they are still able to give kids good advice. However, because they fail to understand teenagers’ motivations, they are unable to connect fully to the situation. They think of the situation as they would now that they have already gone through similar experiences. This prevents them from making teenagers really trust their advice, no matter how good it is. Fortunately, this is not true with all adults, and some take the time to recall their adolescent emotions and connect with teenagers that make a positive impact.

Bridget G.(general response)

Duh all adults were teens at one point, but with the rate of change in the world and technology, the teen years are very different from what they used to be. In the good ol' days, back when APs didn't exist, and using a graphing calculator meant graph paper and a pencil, school was comparatively easy. We are held to the same standards of achievement with a higher level of rigor. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, I believe that the advances that have been made in the last 10-20 years are incredible, but I also think that adults don't understand the number of responsibilities that an average teen has. This sound like a stupid teenage thing to say, but oh well. Times change, teens change, and while the themes of rebellion, questioning and conquest continue on in each generation, there is a fine wall separating the people on both sides. Adults understand these themes, but that doesn't mean that they always understand the new definition of teen.

Nick Bailey (in response to Melina)- I would like to respectfully disagree with you Melina for a few reasons. First, the fact that you stated that adults cannot "feel" what adolescents are feeling, I would disagree because adults may not have gone through that exact situation, they may be able to relate to it. Of course, there are always exceptions and to take such a narrow minded statement on this topic is something that I would encourage to reconsider. To an extent I agree with what your saying, but having such narrow minded view is something that I don't agree with. Given, that adults have been away from the teen scene for a period of time, but those intense emotions you stated that can not be recreated is something that I would disagree with. It is in fact possible to understand teenagers impulsive actions because our parents may have thought the same thing, or felt the way we feel and don't want us to make those same mistakes. I mean, the EXACT situations can't be created, but the basic idea is there and adults want us to make the mistakes they made and that is a just cause. They could definitely go about it differently, but all they are trying to do is protect us, but the fact is that we need to grow up and make those mistakes so we can teach our kids (if we have them), those same ideas.

Maddie Gilmore (post # 3) Do adults understand teenagers. That kills me. Of course they don't. Adults are so wrapped up in their jobs and their cars and their lives that they forget what it was like to be a teenager, or even a kid. Take my dad, for example. I'm not even sure what it is that he does, but I know he's some sort of lawyer. My dad likes to think that he understands me, but he really doesn't. He can't understand why I can't stand school because it's so full of phonies. They're absolutely teeming all over the place. Adults are pretty phony themselves, though. That's why they can't tell the difference. The one thing about adults is they don't know when to leave you alone. I swear they don't. It's like what old Phoebe said about that movie she went to with her friend. She said that movie was excellent "Except Alice's mother. She kept leaning over and asking her if she felt grippy during the whole entire movie." Adults are always asking you questions like that. They just ask you if you're feeling grippy because its the only way they'll get anything out of you, but most of the time you just want to be left alone. I know they try and all, but they just can't ever understand teenagers. It's almost like a rule that they never break. I guess sometimes you wish they would.

Emmie Doherty response to Maddie Gilmore- It’s scary how much that sounds like Holden. You use his vocabulary, you repeat yourself and phrase things the way he would. If you had told me this was a passage from the book, I would have believed you. I agree completely with what you think Holden would say; he in no way would think any adult could understand a teenager. Your quotes from the book really helped support your argument and make your point. The only thing I’m unsure about is whether he really wants to be understood by adults, like you said at the end. I don’t think Holden really likes to share with many people, let alone adults. I don’t believe he really wants them to pry and try to understand him. He is content sharing with Phoebe and even Allie at times and doesn’t want to be understood by adults.

Yuka Harada (as Holden) I guess adults understand teenagers sometimes. They really do. I mean, I know they're phonies and all, but some educated people like Old Luce seemed pretty smart about it. I mean, he could tell that I was being immature and annoying. I guess he knew about me more than I did seeing that he's one of those intellectual guys who was supposed to be my student adviser. Anyways, some adults are just plain insane. Like all those mothers for instance. I mean, "She looked like she might have a pretty damn good idea what a bastard she was the mother of. (pg 55)" I know mothers are all slightly insane and all since they're just too sensitive and excessive sometimes. I liked Mrs. Morrows all right and she seemed liked a nice mother. All of them adults can understand us teenagers if they really try. If I want to, I could grow up and be more intellectual and maybe then I can understand some kids. Maybe if they became more honest and stop lying so much, they can understand some bastards like me.

Caitlyn Threadgill commenting on Yuka as Holden: I going to have to disagree with the way you responded to this question as Holden. But I do respect that you backed up your opinion an example from the text. I feel as though Holden would have answered this question a bit more confident in saying that adults do not understand teenagers. I think he feels like no adult has been there for him ever since Allie died, he seems to be on his own and thinks that all adults are just simply phonies. Holden feels as though no own can seem to understand him, or even wants to try. Even though he does not think adults understand teenagers I think he wishes they did because it would be nice to have an elder to look up to and learn from. But instead Holden is on his own and is not quite sure what to do with himself and is trying to find his purpose in life on his own. I also think the reason Holden does not try to tell adults the way he feels and that he is unhappy is because he thinks no one wants to be there for him anyways.